Black Excellence

5 Dating Rules We Should Break Already

dating rules, black love, black people dating, black excellence
[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]Although society will have you believe dating is dead, my friends and I have not stopped going on dates. Maybe we are of an older generation already, being that we are in our late 20s and early 30s. Or maybe the “dating is dead” phenomenon is an over exaggerated one. Either way, I have some dating rules for you that I have hated since my early years of dating, with an exception of one that seems to be a newer rule. All of these rules somehow are still hovering around the dating world.

1. Men plan dates– Believe it or not, I hear about this all the time when I discuss dating with friends. Somehow, the burden of planing dates, especially the first few dates, is mostly on men. Even if my female friends have great ideas for places they want to go and things they want to do on dates, they wait for the man to plan it or make passive suggestions. This rule comes in the package of rules that also state that men must pay on the first date. Ladies, you can’t want equality in all areas of life when you’re not showing that you’re also an equal partner in dating and getting what you want. It is nice of him to pay on the first date, but should it be a requirement? I don’t think so. Taking an active role in your dates is also a sign of equality.

2. Play hard to get– This right here is the #1 dating rule I hate. Hate! If I am interested in a guy, why am I wasting my time playing games with him in order to show him that I’m valuable and he should want me? In my experience, the guys that will entertain your games are those who will play with you and play you. The men that are worth dating are those that you don’t need to prove your worth to by playing childish games. Period. 

dating rules, black love, black people dating, black excellence

 

RELATED: Your Black Face and Online Dating

3. First date should be fancy– Some of my favorite first dates did not involve fancy restaurants, expensive concert tickets, or elaborate plans. I see some people stressing out on what to do and where to take the other person on a first date. Of course, the effort is appreciated, but is the effort being spent on the wrong thing? The date shouldn’t be about how much it costs. It should be about how it will make you both feel. Plan the date according to the other person and not according to the theory of a perfect first date.dating rules, black love, black people dating, black excellence4. Waiting 2 days to call (or text)- It’s not so much waiting two days to call anymore but waiting two days to send the first text after a date. It becomes a digital stare down after a wonderful date to see which person caves first and makes the first contact. Take it from Viola Davis and her husband, who recounted the story of their first date for OWN’s Black Love. It is ok to call the next day or even after you get home from the date to say you had a great time.

5. Keep it Ambiguous- This is the newer rule that just baffles me.  Are we dating? Are we just “hanging out”? Are we in a  relationship now? It has become acceptable to be ambiguous because I guess it’s not cool anymore to be clear about  what you want, especially if what you want is a relationship. The seemingly endless options in the digital dating world has made the possibility of people we can “kick it with” limitless. So why say you’re “dating” somebody and limit  yourself, right? The problems is, clear communication  is suffering. Many are holding their tongue when they want to know what to call their relationship because they don’t want to appear desperate. My vote is always for keeping things  clear. If you’re asking me to “hang out” and I have a feeling it might have romantic intentions, I will ask if it’s a date. If it’s  not, then at least I will know that going into it.

Those are my top 5 dating rules I want to say “bye bye” to. What are yours?[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row][vc_row][vc_column][/vc_column][/vc_row]

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