live_tv
Livestream Starting Soon
00
Hours
:
00
Minutes
:
00
Seconds
Up next in 10
#blackexcellence #blacklove
Gabrielle Union sparked a controversy when she said she splits home bills 50/50 with husband Dwyane Wade. Should bills always be split 50/50? And what should be gender roles in the home?
Brotherly Banter is a show where brothers, often on opposite sides of the thought spectrum, discuss various hot topics in the Black community.
Subscribe to our channel so you don't miss any future videos!
Check out the books we love and recommend in our
Black Excellence Book Club:
https://www.blackexcellence.com/store/
Some links are affiliate links, which means we earn a very tiny commission if you make a purchase.
__________________________________________________________
BlackExcellence.com is a digital platform dedicated to empowering excellence everyday through sharing thought provoking, informative, entertaining, and noteworthy stories in the Black community.
All content provided by Black Excellence Media, LLC is for entertainment purposes only. None of the information or advice provided is to replace professional advice.
Website: https://blackexcellence.com
Show More Show Less View Video Transcript
0:00
I'm saying I would like meals when I come home and you have a choice to make them or not
0:04
How is this man worth four times what she's worth and still making her split everything 50-50
0:10
I think a lot of marriages run into a problem now because if I can't find a happy space here, I'm out
0:22
Gabrielle Union's comment about her finances with hubby Dwayne Wade getting mixed reactions on social media
0:28
In this household, we split everything 50-50. In a podcast that Gabrielle Union was on, she was talking about how in their household, they split the bills 50-50
0:37
I read up on it and some of the comments that people were saying was, okay, he's worth four times what she's worth
0:44
And I actually had to look up their net worth. And he's around $170 million and she's around $40 to $50 million
0:51
But we're talking about multimillionaires, both of them. So it doesn't matter that they're splitting their bills 50-50
0:57
if you make way more than your partner, but you're both very well-earning individuals
1:04
We're talking about millionaires. Does it matter if you split the bills 50-50? No
1:09
What's the argument? Like you should have to? They should split the bill 50-50
1:14
Their bills, their rent, their light bill, their phone bills. Jared, did you say what bills
1:21
You don't think they have bills? No, I mean they do, but I'm like..
1:24
Yeah, everything that they have, they split 50-50. or if they go out, sometimes she pays, sometimes he pays, but they split almost everything
1:33
And I think they should split everything. Yeah, but I'm not, I'm not splitting the phone bill
1:38
I hope they're not like, oh, what's your half of the phone bill? No, I'm sure they just put it into
1:43
an account and it gets paid for, but yeah, they split everything. What a lot of people, especially
1:49
women have problem with on social media was how is this man worth four times what she's worth and
1:56
still making her split everything 50 50 those women are broke no but he didn't make her do it
2:02
she wants to do it right yeah he went on another podcast and it seemed like he clarified a saying
2:07
that happened because one time he made a comment when they were in miami and in his miami home
2:13
something about the house being his so she said from that point on when they bought a house in la
2:19
that we're gonna split this 50 50 because i never want to hear you say my house or anything like that
2:25
so it seemed like this was her move that she wanted to do this it's just those are those
2:29
are broke people that are that are complaining that are mad this this woman has has earned
2:36
everything that she's gotten and she has every right and should pay for half of their stuff
2:43
she shouldn't have to depend on Dwayne Wade to pay for everything that's a broke mentality
2:48
I'm sorry how does this translate to everyday people at what point do you say okay it's not
2:53
fear that we split everything half half if the other person makes twice as much as you make if
2:59
the other person makes you know 150 of what you make as a man i think that you should always want
3:06
to pay 100 of everything but i also think as a woman you should want to pay 50 of everything
3:14
so in theory you should split it 50 50 the man should want to pay for it all and the woman should
3:22
offer up to pay for half of the shit. And then it ends up being split
3:27
And the man offering is just a show, for sure. Men don't want to pay for everything, but
3:32
they have to when the woman doesn't step up and pay for their half. Is that right
3:41
I don't know what to say on this one. Is it for sure that men
3:46
offer? Okay, what about dates? Who should pay for dates? I don't know where the world stands on this
3:52
right now right now i pay for dates but i i think are we are we moving to a 50 50 world or not do
3:59
girls do women want to be treated are we doing everything equally or we're not going to do
4:05
everything equally i don't know where we are in society i think women choose what they want to do
4:09
equally and what they don't want to do equally um i don't think there's a generic i think every
4:14
woman's a little bit different you're going to find some women that want to split everything
4:18
you're going to find some woman that want everything paid for you're going to find some
4:21
woman that want to pay for a few things um it really just depends in my opinion on the woman
4:27
themselves um as far as dates go you know it's the it sucks but the guy should pay for everything
4:33
why why it's just it's just what is expected i think a woman i think a man should pay but the
4:42
same thing a man should pay but the woman should offer and then every once in a while the man should
4:46
when she offers you should let her pay um i think looking for a looking for a man to pay for
4:54
everything i think when why women do that subliminally is because they're looking to see
5:00
how interested this man is up front i guess like if he's willing if he doesn't have that much money
5:06
and he's willing to part with his money that's showing that there's maybe more interest when men
5:11
are typically you know the ones that have like a whole bunch of girls or i'm guessing that's why
5:17
it is i don't know if i agree with that because i think that i think men are willing to part with
5:22
their money because they are going to get something out of it on the back end no but if you make him
5:27
pay and you don't and then he does it again maybe oh well then that's different i don't know but i
5:32
think women i think women are just looking for different things to see how interested this guy
5:36
is like if he's willing to pay if he's willing to do things that maybe he typically but like i
5:41
yeah i don't know men take women on dates because they want to sleep with them like let's be real
5:45
i mean yeah i mean so women go out on dates because they probably want to sleep with a lot
5:50
of women go out on dates because they're hungry what like come on because women are starving
5:56
there are a group of women they're like i'll get something to eat and go home yeah right they don't
6:05
have any intent on being, they might like you as a person, but they don't have any intent on it
6:13
going any further. There are some women out there that just want to go out and eat. They want to go
6:17
to nice restaurants. They want to go and do these nice things, but they don't have any intent on
6:22
hooking up with you or sleeping with you or taking it any further And then there men that are out there looking for dates that are just trying to smash chicks So it just it it a it a messed up game but I think as far
6:35
as- So why should men try and pay for everything? Like, what did you say? What's the reason? I just, I just think that's just the way that my mind is set up, that I should always pay for a
6:44
date. Do you think everything should be 50-50, like even housework and- No, I don't. Oh, okay
6:51
No, I don't. I don't. Because here's the thing, right? I think that there are some things that women do really well. I think there are some things that men do really well. I think there are some things that women shouldn't have to do. For an example, women shouldn't have to take out the trash. I just don't. I don't believe
7:11
Why? Is that a difficult thing, taking out the trash? no but it's a dirty thing the trash is dirty it's nasty i don't think that women should take
7:21
out the trash but women do take out the trash there's nothing wrong with it but if you're
7:26
asking me i don't think that they should why because women should not get dirty versus a man
7:31
should get dirty i just think that women the trash cans are dirty women shouldn't be subjected
7:36
to dirty things like why well you you would do all the diapers what so you would do all the
7:43
I think diapers are more of a maternal instinct type of thing
7:50
But I'm not saying that men shouldn't clean diapers. I think that should be 50-50
7:55
How about cleaning the house? Cleaning bathrooms, all that. That's dirty work
8:01
Having to mop, having to dust. I don't know. For me personally, and maybe this isn't right, but I think I look at cleaning inside of the house
8:12
is different than taking out the trash. I think the trash is like a disgusting thing
8:17
The trash is way easier. I'm literally grabbing a bag and tossing it in
8:22
I'm not talking about what's easier or what's harder. But it's dangerous out there, Roman
8:26
I just think that it's nasty. It's gross. What about the danger of just going out
8:31
Your woman could be taken in the night. You were saying that
8:35
Especially if she's wearing provocative things like Kiki Palmer when she goes out there
8:39
I'm not saying any of that. Maybe that's where that started. Maybe that's why men take out the trash. I don't think it's a dirty thing. It's just you don't think back in the day, your woman could get taken
8:50
So you don't think that trash cans are dirty? You don't think that apartment
8:54
How dirty is your trash can? Roman made a good point. I mean. Yeah, you're just getting it, but it's just nasty. It's something that you consider nasty. Trash is nasty
9:04
So is cleaning a bathroom. I don't think cleaning a bathroom is nasty
9:08
what's nasty about a garbage can just it's just it's garbage what do you mean
9:13
like yeah i don't know how much interaction i mean aj's like roaches could come out of there or
9:19
maybe it's just like bugs come out the whole thing for me is just that i don't think women
9:24
should take out the trash personally so what rules do you believe in in the house
9:28
uh the only rule i truly said paying he paid aj does the dirty work and he pays
9:36
he pays for the no he says paying should be 50 50 in the house i know i said i said that men should
9:44
pay and women should offer so yes it should end up 50 50 yeah but if the woman doesn't offer then
9:51
you don't make her pay so it's the man's responsibility it's the man's responsibility
9:57
to pay all the bills okay and what's the woman's responsibility is to take care of the household
10:04
by doing what things whatever that means whatever that take care of the household means cooking
10:10
cleaning i i think that women yes i think that women should cook i think that men and women
10:17
should clean men and women yeah the cleaning part so just what falls on the women's cooking
10:24
dinner no i'm saying like okay what if you guys are splitting everything 50 50
10:31
paying the bills. I don't know. What happens then? I personally believe it's the responsibility
10:38
of a woman to prepare a meal for the family. Even if you guys are both working the same hours
10:47
both paying the bills equally. Yes. Okay, then what's the man doing
10:53
Do not say just taking out the trash because cooking. No, the man is taking out
10:59
the garbage. When something's broken, the man is fixing it when the light bulbs are out he's changing the light bulbs he's changing
11:05
where's cooking on the women why is cooking on the woman um in my experience traditionally women
11:14
cook better than men in my personal experience so that's because most of the times the women
11:19
cooking i don't know whatever but and again i don't think it should be every day but i think
11:25
that three days a week the woman in the house should prepare
11:30
a meal. Three days a week? Yeah, at least three days a week
11:35
What happens to the other four? I think at least one day a week the man should prepare
11:40
a meal. And I think the other days you're on your own. You eat out, you go out
11:45
you figure it out. There's leftovers. But I think there should be
11:49
three cooked meals a week. One of them has to be on Tuesday
11:54
It has to be Taco Tuesday. Every week. Jared used to say every day it needs to be a cooked meal
11:59
I didn't. Every freaking day. No, I didn't say a woman needs to cook
12:03
I didn't put that on women. I just said I don't personally like leftovers
12:08
I think a lot of men don't like leftovers. But some things are okay
12:12
Yeah, I don't think that for whatever reason, most men are equipped to work all day and then come home and make a meal
12:19
Some are. There's a good amount of them that actually are. but for whatever women whatever reason if whether it's out of necessity because they have to
12:28
or they feel like they are forced to women tap into that and they're able to work their eight
12:35
hour day come home and not get a break but they're tired and exhausted and men shouldn't expect
12:40
anything at the end of the night because the women are doing all this stuff so when your wife goes to
12:44
bed at eight o'clock at night you can't be upset because she hadn't stopped since six o'clock in
12:48
morning. You have to be okay with that. But is that a fair division of labor for her to work come home Who doing the cleaning Doing the dishes cleaning up taking care of the kids if you have kids It taking out the trash
13:04
and fixing something when something's broken. It's not a daily thing. Cooking and taking care of the kids
13:09
is a daily, daily thing. I think the kids take care of themselves
13:12
at a certain age. Excuse me? My kids take care of themselves
13:17
Well, how many years has passed, though? 10 plus years until they get to that point
13:22
listen i understand what you're saying it's not fair but life's not fair and your environment is
13:30
what you create gonna say life is not fair and have the woman work full time and all these things
13:35
look you do you do what's best for your household i don't think that there is a set rule for women
13:42
and men across the world what happens in your house roman is one is how it's going to work
13:46
there but i bet you what happens in your house isn't even close to what happens in my house
13:51
what happens in my house how do you justify that as a fair thing in your house i don't think that
13:57
it's not fair it work it works in my house i don't have to justify what works it works but
14:05
like in your head how do you justify it to yourself that this is fair that you expect these
14:09
things out of her that's what i believe works and it does work and if it didn't work then we
14:14
wouldn't be together right how do you think in your head somebody's asking you how is this a
14:19
fair thing for her to be responsible i don't think i don't think it's not fair until you brought it
14:25
up yeah i don't think that it's not fair it's not fair to you as an outsider it's fair to me as an
14:32
insider how why is it fair because it works no something working doesn't mean it's fair right
14:40
to me is he trying to say is he trying to say like he can't go over all the details but somehow
14:47
they've balanced the jobs up that work best for everybody in that house right like there's the
14:53
thing like in my home my significant other is a uh what's the word i'm looking for she's a uh
15:04
a neat freak that's not the word i was looking for but she has ocd right so she walks around
15:12
and fixes the pillows when the pillows are messed up. If there's a cup in the sink
15:16
she washes the cup and puts the cup away right away. Like she has major OCD about stuff being a certain way
15:23
I'm getting out of the way. That is the perfect person for me. So it works in my house that she does all the cleaning
15:30
because she likes the stuff to look a certain way. But okay, let's remove you, I guess, from this situation
15:36
Somebody comes to you and says, we're both working, splitting the bills 50-50
15:42
And she's doing all the cleaning and all the cooking in the household
15:46
So when I come from work, she's doing majority of the child care because kids, again, don't just take care of themselves
15:53
Is this a fair setup? Again, that's not about what works. Is this a fair division of labor
15:58
I would say yes, if it's working for you guys. It's not about it working
16:04
No, it is because if their relationship is strong, then it's working
16:08
If their relationship is not strong, then it's not working. and then if it's not working then i'm gonna say okay well look you need to split up what's going
16:15
on you need to cook a couple couple days you need to take days that you have the kids maybe make a
16:20
schedule but if it's working if they're happy you you can't debate this i believe in people in the
16:29
finding a partner like if i you don't like cleaning or you don't like cooking find somebody that
16:35
balances you out the man could do the cooking the woman could do the cooking find somebody that
16:40
balances out the things that you don't like. And then, yes, so Roman likes doing the dishes in her
16:45
house. Hopefully she finds somebody that actually enjoys cooking most of the time. And then every
16:51
once in a while you have days where I want to take a day off from that. Like legitimately
16:56
you're tired from something else that happened in your life and you say, hey, I'm going to take over
17:01
Like, can you cover my dishes for me? I personally don't like. Like if you get with somebody and you
17:09
both don't like cooking and you try and split that up from three days to four days or you do it
17:13
or the days I feel like like that's going to be an epic disaster the more times that you guys are
17:18
clashing on things I think that's going to be the problem so my thing is try your best to find
17:24
somebody that balances you out and does the things that you just don't like to do I think a lot of
17:30
marriages run into a problem now because they're not clear rules and then you come into a house and
17:36
you're just like well we're gonna try and make everything fair 50 50 and we just split up every
17:41
so i vacuumed and then you start making a calendar of oh wait i vacuum on monday tuesdays and fridays
17:48
and you know like you're trying to split up everything like that no just find somebody that
17:53
honestly likes doing the things that you don't like to do what if you fall in love with somebody
17:58
that things don't work out like that like neither one of you are cooks neither one of you like
18:02
cleaning you better learn how to eat out and learn how to hire a maid yeah you better yeah i don't
18:09
like if you fall i don't know i marriage back in the day i don't know slowly we've we've put love
18:16
more into the equation of a marriage before it was finding people that actually balanced you out
18:22
i think a long time ago like families probably arranged were more involved in their like my wife
18:29
likes doing this this and this it was more of a business deal and now it's love and you're trying
18:35
to figure out and women are not before there was more traditional roles which were not probably
18:42
fair but you knew the men was the job was to go make money and the women were going to do this
18:47
so marriage was probably a little bit it's not fair on the women but it was a little bit easier
18:54
but now you're coming into a situation where nobody's trained to do anything
18:58
and somebody has to figure out how to learn how to cook when they didn't grow up learning how to do
19:04
that at all i mean and for a lot of men right now they're encountering they're walking into a house
19:09
and a woman's like well it's honestly not fair for a woman to cook all the time so a man's starting
19:15
to try and learn how to cook when he didn't grow up cooking we're just like in this middle thing
19:19
of trying to figure out what to me what blowing my mind is i understand when the woman is staying at home the man who goes out to work of course that that a fair divisional labor you upkeep the house and you make money but when both of you come home tired everything
19:36
falls on the woman's cook no i don't yeah i don't care the kids that i don't think that's what
19:41
wait but i don't think that's what i'm not coming into it and saying everything should be on a woman
19:48
And I think you guys should just find like whatever all the rules are in the house
19:53
Figure out the ones that you like to do and try and find somebody else that doesn't like to do whatever those are
19:59
That I can get with. I just don't understand AJ's thing where it works in my house
20:04
Like how do you not feel bad for her? Of course, she might do that because she loves you
20:08
But still, you got to. I think in AJ's defense, he is doing some other things
20:13
I don't think like he's just we're just picking out the things that he does not like
20:17
i don't there's things that aj yes like aj might go to soccer like in his house he goes to all the
20:25
soccer things and trains and like does that i'm not i not want to do that in the in the heat yeah
20:31
i'm not saying that i don't cook meals i'm not saying that i don't make food once a week twice a
20:39
week but for me I would prefer to come home every night whether she worked or she didn't work
20:48
to a meal I would prefer that I come home or I every Monday I have clean laundry like those are
21:01
things that I would prefer those are things that she likes to do not saying that I won't do them
21:06
but those are things that i would prefer so aj needs to find somebody who likes who doesn't mind
21:13
doing those things like to do you like to clean cool that we're together to me it's not about
21:18
liking or not liking i've never encountered a situation that a lot of women i know love cooking
21:24
but i also see them getting tired like a lot of people women that i like that i know like cleaning
21:31
and like keeping their house clean but they also work eight hours a day yeah and they come home and
21:37
have to do that how's that not tiring even if you like this doing these things it's different when
21:42
you do it on the weekend and you get to sleep okay so what are you what are you proposing what do you
21:47
expect them what do you expect how do you expect to split the divisions of labors in the house
21:53
like whatever jared said that one person might be in charge of the cooking but the other person is
21:59
in charge of cleaning. What if that person likes, what if they both like to cook
22:05
and no one likes to clean? Somebody better take up cleaning. Why? What if they both hate it
22:12
No, I mean, in that situation, yeah, somebody has to take that up. Right, but if they both hate it
22:17
you have a problem. Well, yeah, that's what I was saying earlier. Yeah, but you can't just make the woman do it, right
22:24
Yeah. You can't make anybody do it. No, but I'm saying it shouldn't just fall on the woman
22:28
It shouldn't automatically fall on her if she's also working. It's different if she's not working
22:34
Then, yeah, you better like cleaning if you're going to stay at home. Nah
22:39
You better take it up. Wait, AJ, what do you do? If you guys, honestly, you get in somebody, you love somebody
22:46
she likes cooking, she doesn't like, and you both hate cleaning. What do you say
22:50
Do you just say you're a woman? This is your traditional task? You're going to figure it out
22:55
Nah, I'm just going to be like, look, I'm not going to say you're a woman
22:59
because that just sounds crazy. In your head, you're thinking that. No, in my head, I'm just like, look
23:04
I'm going to need you to figure this out. This is what we need
23:09
Wait, why is it her to do that? Because here's my thing
23:16
Let's say you don't want to clean. Wait, real quick. Because she's genetically supposed to..
23:22
What I grew up around, women always clean in my house. So that's what I believe. Now, if you don't want to clean, that's fine
23:31
You don't have to. I'm not asking you to. Are you also going to say, tell her it should not work
23:36
I'm not going to clean until I'm ready to clean. So that means that I may cook
23:46
And I'm not going to wash the dishes until I'm ready to go to bed. But there might be dirty issues for two hours
23:51
That's a recipe for huge arguments. You cannot do it on your time
23:56
in a relationship. If you want it done in a certain time, then do it yourself
24:00
No, no, no, no. See, that has caused so many arguments in relationships
24:04
No, it's not a time. You can't do everything on your time. You're in a relationship. You've got to compromise
24:10
No, no, no, no. You can't be like, if you want me to clean, I only clean once a month
24:14
So until when the house is going to be dirty. No, I clean once a week. But it depends on who you're with
24:19
So you have to adjust yourself. But that's the point. If you want me to do it, that's fine
24:23
I will do it on my day off okay her thing is gonna be if you want me to cook
24:28
I only cook once every two weeks then okay then we're gonna be broke
24:33
because we're gonna eat out all the time whatever it might be then fine
24:38
then that's what it is though but I'm not saying that you have to cook
24:44
I'm not holding the knife to your back and be like cook or I'm leaving you
24:48
I'm saying I would like meals when I come home and you have a choice to make them or not
24:53
and you're going to be there or not depending on no i'm either going to come home and eat the
24:59
meal you prepared or i'm going to go stop and get food on my way home and eat it here
25:04
and i'll bring you some complaints coming from you about me cooking or not cooking then we're okay
25:08
like you prefer that but if it's not there's no consequence to our relationship i'm not mad i'm
25:14
not mad if you don't do it oh in that case then we all have preferences that if there's no
25:19
consequence to those things that are happening then yeah i'm not gonna beat you if you don't
25:23
have food but like the relationship is not gonna work no i'm not gonna now don't get me wrong i'm
25:30
not going to be with you long term oh i'm being serious yeah so there is a consequence yeah no
25:37
it's but it's not gonna work out because i'm not gonna be happy yeah that's the consequence
25:42
then it's like either we won't be together no i'm not saying that but long term if this
25:49
If I can't find a happy space here, I'm out
#Financial Planning & Management
#Marriage
#Discrimination & Identity Relations